By Leigh

Meeting Johno and Craig in the hotel room was a huge relief; the Iran/Pakistan visa problems that had been dogging the whole expedition since we had left in February and were finally resolved. We wouldn’t have to worry about the paperwork for the next country until China and its bureaucratic nightmare. Within a few minutes a detective from the local station arrived at our hotel introducing himself followed by the same words we had come to expect,  that we would need a police escort for the next part of our journey through Pakistan. Paul and myself were new to this experience but Johno and Craig had endured this for the past week and were getting sick of the delays caused by escorts.  However, all agreed that we should not ditch and run otherwise this could have resulted in the same outcome that the Swiss couple who were kidnapped in the previous week (the Pakistani Taliban have claimed responsibility).

Overload!

We slept early that night as the heat and humidity was already starting to drain us, the tiny fan was providing life support instead of comfort to the room, with frequent and usually scheduled power blackouts across Pakistan this can become a problem.

Awaking the next morning we packed Hannah and I had a look at the damage that had been caused by the engine fan eating the radiator, however I did not do what I usually do and mess around with it because Sukkur was still a dangerous area and I didn’t want to strand us when the car still seemed to be working. As usual the police were late so we grabbed some breakfast and filled up with diesel. Still no police, waited a bit longer, still no police. Thirty minutes after they had supposed to arrive we had enough and hit the highway without them, we decided were now in a different province in Pakistan to the kidnappings and knew that it was nonstop to Multan. (The Red Cross security advisement downgraded the area from Extreme to Highly Dangerous so, relatively speaking, all was fine!)

Backseat Driver...

The drive was great if not still hot, observing some brilliantly designed trucks with their decoration (if you have been to India and seen their trucks, times it by ten and you will get Pakistani truckers), arriving in Multan just before dark. What we didn’t realize however is that no hotels within our price range accept foreigners in Multan, this is because the security situation here was worse than the previous city and only the expensive hotels could afford the armed guards. Pulling up on the high street we were sticking out like the biggest sore thumb you have ever seen, our attempts to cover up our sponsor stickers didn’t alter the fact we were driving round in a black cab (something we neglected to think about whilst preparing Hannah in Iran).

The growing crowd of people around our car were harmless and just curious, we began to be increasingly uneasy about our position “all it takes is for one person out of this crowd to phone his mate” I said. Then a young teenager pulled up on his motorbike “no attention, no tension” looking amazed at the car but worried for our safety we realized that people around us were becoming uneasy about our presence and we knew this was the time to leave.  

We followed ‘Notension’ guy around on his motorbike as he said he took us to a historical building in the city, they were the only fluent English speaking Pakistani family for miles. They translated to ‘Notension’ guy what we were doing and that we needed a hotel as they did not have the room to keep us here for the night. He said he knew where a hotel was that we could stay at (our earlier attempts had failed and it was now getting dark). Our first arrival was at a house where he dropped his bag of ice, that was now a bag of water and jumped back on his bike , to take us on his tour of friends in Multan.

Our third stop was at a gym aptly named “Muslim Gym” where he wanted us to come and meet his friends and work out. Notension guy was now attracting a lot of attention, not what you want in Pakistan.  Starting to get frustrated at this supposed hotel, we had to chill down our passenger, Ozzie Craig, who was becoming increasingly (characteristically) angry, as  we all were. Our new friend, however, was loving every second of this adventure. Leaving his bike at the Muslim Gym he got in the back of the taxi with us, waving out of the window at his mates, taking pictures and ringing his entire phonebook. We, however, were tired and ready to crash for the night.

The next venture for our hotel took us down a small back alley in the night time where we found out there was a height restriction so had to reverse Hannah 200 meters back, with multiple cars and motorbikes behind us trying to get through. Tempers were now running high and reversing into the only side street we could find the shouting began.  Demanding that ‘Notension’ not show us off to his friends anymore and he needs to take us to the hotel now, he got the hint.

Hotel groupies, and 'Notension' guy hugging Craig

Arriving at his suggested hotel it was well and truly dark, we found out quickly that he knew the hotel owner but didn’t know that he too didn’t have armed guards for foreigners. We had had it, being traipsed around an extremely dangerous city by a guy who wanted to show us off to his mates and his hotel couldn’t even take us.  Whilst the rest of the team were raging in the taxi Paul got out and pleaded with the hotel owner that we could hide the car and no one would have known that we were ever here.

After some debating he agreed, hiding the car in his garage we started to calm down and we could finally sleep, the hotel owner did want to phone the police to let them know that we were here and if it was OK, he also said his friend from the US was here and if would want to chat, I volunteered and had supper whilst being told that two weeks ago there was a massive motorbike bomb 40 meters from where our hotel was and this is why it is so hard for the city have any foreigners at the moment. I also discovered that Pakistanis like their conspiracy theories “Bin Laden isn’t dead the US just want to tell everyone that” (the US timed their raid on Bin Laden just before we entered Pakistan, thanks for that), and many more.

Walls Icecream to chill my sweaty beard.

Finally getting to bed we said goodbye to No tension guy who then said that he would wake us up at 7am and sure enough he did even after the repeated protests of the group that were getting up at 9am.  We also woke up to a floor 3 inches full of water from the water cooler outside; soaking all of our clothes and bags in filthy effluent.

Breakfast was enjoyable;  watching Johno being massaged by no tension guy walking on his back in the front garden, not a sight you really want to witness first thing in the morning.

Lahore Fort, surprisingly in Lahore.

Our next and final stop in Pakistan was Lahore, completely different to the rest of the Pakistan we experienced, greenery, civilized roads and amazing people.  Very similar to Delhi you can still see many of the colonial buildings, and mannerisms of the people left over from the British Empire.

Admiring the view.

We were invited to witness a Muslim Sufi festival and taken there in the evening, thousands of people were in the crowd, sitting at the back you couldn’t help but smile at the energetic atmosphere of the crowd. Suddenly we were pushed to the front of the stage along with two Americans and told we were sitting with on stage with the higher up’s.

Us at the back of the stage before we got dragged up.

Foreign office advice warns of visiting any crowded areas, this is relatively hard when visiting mosques, bazaars or just wondering down a busy street.  But when you are sitting on a stage, in Pakistan, in front of a crowd of people which had suffered a bomb attack a few days before; you kind of ask yourself “what the hell am I doing here?”.

It's on the Meter, Live! on Stage.

This thought soon abated as the singers performed on stage whilst money was showered above their heads, people dancing and watching the guy obviously combining religion and drugs busting moves out at the front of the stage.

Meeting celebrities?!

The night ended well with me losing my shoes to a fortunate Pakistani, so stealing Paul’s as a replacement to walk home at 2am, getting lost, hitting security checkpoints along the way and having an fascinating conversation with the Texan about how he could discuss politics in a place who voted in George Bush Jnr. and don’t believe in evolution.

This guy really loves religion!

The next morning we packed up and headed for the border, once we crossed it we would have completed the most dangerous part of our expedition; all survived (although extremely exhausted, sweating like dogs from our beards) and would be hitting India for a week’s break to recover.

Waga Pakistan/India land border.

Filling our departure forms, covered in flies and being pestered by the guard to change money, we were actually disappointed that we could not spend more time in Pakistan to experience the people and their culture more, it is right that parts of Pakistan we drove through were dangerous, but this involves a tiny minority of a country with 177 million people and we had an amazing adventure there.

Trip Stats:

17,000 Miles.

143 Days.

31 Countries.

86 Tanks of Diesel.

1 Awkward back massage.